AU Shenanigans
Oct. 21st, 2013 08:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
It's been six months since Cass disappeared. She's the first person I've known to do that and I still can't quite believe it. It hurts. She was family. A bat. And a friend. And every night since then, I've been killing myself to cover her turf and mine. Maybe literally now.
I was tired, too tired to be in the neighborhood I was in and I should have known better. But the deal was going down and I had to stop it before those drugs got on the street. One the good side? The bad guys are all tied up and the drugs were destroyed. On the bad side, I'm on the nearest roof losing consciousness after one too many hits after one too few nights' sleep. I remember calling the bust into the cops right before I remember thinking, "These bricks look really soft. I should lie down."
I don't really remember much after that.
I was tired, too tired to be in the neighborhood I was in and I should have known better. But the deal was going down and I had to stop it before those drugs got on the street. One the good side? The bad guys are all tied up and the drugs were destroyed. On the bad side, I'm on the nearest roof losing consciousness after one too many hits after one too few nights' sleep. I remember calling the bust into the cops right before I remember thinking, "These bricks look really soft. I should lie down."
I don't really remember much after that.
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Date: 2013-10-22 05:36 am (UTC)After months, almost a year of poking and snarling, we're finally quiet and relaxed around each other. And I'm half naked with his hands all over me. "Kaine?" I'm not sure he can hear me with my face half in a pillow. I don't even know exactly what I want to ask him.
"Are you okay with this?"
Am I taking advantage of this temporary good will between us?
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Date: 2013-10-22 05:40 am (UTC)Okay, on a more primal side, she's nice to touch. I like touching her and even if my body is reacting in ways that I'm not necessarily thinking about directly, she's hot and it's nice to touch hot women.
"Yeah," I grunt, rubbing along the inside of her thighs, just a bit higher than her knee. "Are you?"
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Date: 2013-10-22 05:48 am (UTC)Soothing and something else I'm not quite sure I want to identify.
"Don't stop, okay? I mean, if you don't mind."
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Date: 2013-10-22 05:52 am (UTC)"Just... tell me if an area needs extra work," I add, moving down to massage her calf muscles.
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Date: 2013-10-22 06:04 am (UTC)So I regroup. I take a slightly shuddering breath and look over my shoulder for a moment. "My entire body's been a mess for awhile. My physical therapist would kick my ass probably. But my back's the worst." He probably knows all about why. The scars are right there and Cass did tell him a lot. Even if it wasn't about the same Barbara, it's still valid enough. Figures the one thing I never talk about with anyone is the one thing I bring up with him.
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Date: 2013-10-22 06:07 am (UTC)"Just tell me higher, lower, left or right," I say. My hands move back up her body to her back, ghosting over her ass. I tell myself it would be weirder if I completely avoided it, that would make it an issue. This way it's just no big deal, right?
Right. So I begin massaging again, thumbs pressing hard into the muscles on either side of her spine. I kind of hope she'll make those moaning noises again.
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Date: 2013-10-22 06:19 am (UTC)Worse, is it something I want?
But I don't say anything other than, "Lower, please across my hips and back." That sounds perfectly normal, right?
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Date: 2013-10-22 06:23 am (UTC)I'm careful not to go too low though, working her tailbone, just under the waistline of her panties, but not much lower. That's where she wants me to stop, right? She wouldn't want me to go any lower, would she? Do I want to go lower?
From how I'm reacting to the sounds she's making, my body certainly wants her too. I'm glad she's face down because if she could see me right now, it would be very awkward considering the tent forming in my shorts.
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Date: 2013-10-22 06:33 am (UTC)I don't know how, but I manage to clear my throat a little before I speak. Even so my voice is not exactly how it usually is. "Is this still just a massage?"
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Date: 2013-10-22 06:36 am (UTC)If I was smart I'd take my hands off of her and think it over for a moment. But I'm not smart and the more I touch her the more I don't want to stop. The fact that she's asking means she's not sure, right?
"It's... good," I tell her, which I hope answers the question. I hope it's answer enough.
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Date: 2013-10-22 06:42 am (UTC)Okay, so my brain isn't as much in charge as I'd like it to be.
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Date: 2013-10-22 06:46 am (UTC)Again with the questions. I know they're important to ask. I do. That doesn't mean I have to dislike it any less. I'd rather just... not stop and see what happens but I suppose clarifying on what we want is good. That way one of us won't be assuming the other wants something they don't.
"Probably shouldn't, but I do."
It's an honest answer, which itself is kind of surprising, but it leaves it open for her to accept or reject as she chooses. If yes? We both get something we want. If not? We don't do what we'd probably both regret later.
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Date: 2013-10-22 06:53 am (UTC)Taking another deep breath, I slowly roll myself over, feeling the t-shirt ride up my abdomen and not caring one bit. I make myself look at his eyes as I lean up and forward, as much into his space as I can manage. My rational conscience can have the rest of the night off.
"So do I."
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Date: 2013-10-22 06:58 am (UTC)She turns around and catches me a bit by surprises. Somehow it's a bit harder to acknowledge all this while looking her in the eyes. It was a lot easier when she was just a really nice body I was massaging with an ass I badly wanted to get my hands on. But it's like she's thrown a gauntlet down now and I'm kinda pissed by that. But I also really don't want to stop.
So I pull her close and kiss her. Hard. Heated. As if to say "Fine!" with actions instead of words. One hand reaches down to grab her ass and pull her close, practically onto my lap. The other threads through her hair, keeping her mouth close as my body heats up and I realize how badly I'm craving this.
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Date: 2013-10-22 07:12 am (UTC)Almost everything else with us has been a kind of combat, why should this be any different?
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Date: 2013-10-22 07:16 am (UTC)I feel like she's trying to wrestle control of this from me and I refuse to let her have it. Not that I think either of us really has any great amount of control over it to begin with. This is playing with fire personified and I think the blaze is out of control, which makes it so much easier to just give in to it.
I can feel her nipples pressing against me through the fabric of our clothes and I suddenly realize I don't want that. I want to feel her directly against my skin. I don't stop the crushing kiss as I grab the back of the shirt this has on and rip it apart. Along with the satisfying sound of the tearing fabric I can feel her more distinctly. One hand reaches up between us and palms her breast, squeezing it as I rock my hips up against her.
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Date: 2013-10-22 02:03 pm (UTC)But no matter what I do, I can't stop kissing him, I can't pull away. Am I worried that if I do, my rational thought's are going to kick in? I don't know, but I breathe him in like he's oxygen, feeling his lips and tongue against mine, groaning and gasping. But no names, I can't say his name, not like this.
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Date: 2013-10-22 02:15 pm (UTC)I push her forward, back onto her back, and I lift my my hips so that she can push my shorts down and off if she wants. I'd take my shirt off but I don't want to break the kiss, I don't want to lose that connection with her. I feel like I'm drowning in a haze of passion and pleasure but I'm sure if I stop for a moment good sense will prevail. I don't want good sense to prevail.
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Date: 2013-10-22 02:52 pm (UTC)And if he needs a little incentive, I reach down between us to stroke him gently. It is probably the most gentle thing I've done all night, as slow as his hands on my back had been just a few minutes ago. It's my turn to tease.
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Date: 2013-10-22 03:44 pm (UTC)I pull off my shirt and lean back down. A hand goes through her hair and I pull on it, not to hurt but enough to make her head tilt back to expose her neck. I move my mouth along her throat, kisses and nibbles light at first before sucking and biting hard enough to leave marks. She may have me at her mercy with her hand but that doesn't make me helpless.
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Date: 2013-10-23 04:04 am (UTC)I ache in a way I haven't in a very, very long time and the hot breath and soft lips on my neck are just making it worse. I could stop him, I'm not thrilled with having to hide the marks, but I don't want to. Each time he kisses me, it goes right through me and I imagine what those kisses would feel like on the rest of my body. I'm breathless, and hot, and scattered and I love it and hate it at the same time.
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Date: 2013-10-23 04:16 am (UTC)One arm keeps me propped up while the other moves back to her breast, my hand wrapping around it and squeezing it but avoiding her nipple. My mouth moves down to her collarbone and bites her before licking the same area. I want more, so much more and my body is taught with tension, but I'm forcing myself to go slow. Or at least trying to.
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Date: 2013-10-23 04:50 am (UTC)I bring up one of my legs, running my foot along the back of his leg, inviting him in as much as I can without demanding as I kept up my rhythm. I didn't want to give him too much, but I want him to feel. I want to feel more of those growls against my skin, rumbling and vibrating.
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Date: 2013-10-23 05:00 am (UTC)It's even to make me gasp her name and then swear in frustration at the slip. I almost move into her to cover it up because I know she'll be smug about it.
Instead I wrap my hand a bit tighter around her breast so that I can pinch one of nipples between my thumb and forefinger. It's hard with arousal and I tug on it a bit, loving that I'm doing this to her.
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Date: 2013-10-23 05:17 am (UTC)I continue moving against him, rolling my hips, momentarily removing my hand from him so I can grind against his hardness, feel him between my legs. I want him there, I'm aching for him, but I'm not going to be the one to make that final move. I don't know why, but I want him to break his control first. It's an entirely different kind of argument we're having, but after hearing my name the way he said it, I want the rest.
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